Posted not long after rs2 was announced as a certainty.

 

    From the Journal of Redrum Frank, Chapter 5

                                                      The End of the World: A Story I Never Wrote

  
              I was proofreading an article on Arrav himself when the new editor spoke at me.
                “Yo!”
                “Me?”
                “Yo!”
                “What.”
                “Yo- you know where the wizards tower is, right?”
                I thought for a second.
                “Is it a leap year?”
                “Nah. Is it? I don’t know- don’t think so.”
                “Then I can find it.”
                “Oh, okay.”
                Whoosh! He didn’t see it fly over his head.
                “Get over there and talk to the head wizard Trailmix or whatever. I got this note from him..”
                “What’s it say?”
                “Dunno. Can’t make heads or tails of it.”
                I grumbled a bit, but I always do. I couldn’t refuse- I hadn’t passed in a story in a month or more.
                So I packed my bag for the walk and went down to Draynor.
                I’d met the wizard Trailborn before of course, who hadn’t? An old wizard, though he denies it. Powerful, though you might not imagine it to look at him. Eccentric to be sure. I’d once collected twenty-five bones for him- I’ll never forget when he charged me with that task- I was completely baffled. What arcane spell they made possible I may never know; someone of his learning and experience must know so much more than I ever will.
                Eagerly I climbed up to the 2nd floor of the tower and wondered what wisdom he had to impart to me; and the good folk of the kingdom, through pages of The Daily Slaughter.
                When he laid eyes on me he greeted me with a riddle:
                “What walks on four legs in morning, two at midday, and three at night?” he challenged me.
                “Um, the answer is ‘man’, isn’t it? From a crawling baby to old age carrying a cane?”
                “Pshaw! Man has only two legs, you great big dolt! The answer is a Thingummywhat.”
                “Oh.” I took a second to get over that one “Um, I don’t imagine you remember me, but you sent a letter to my paper- I work for the Daily-”
                Trailborn’s eyes grew wide and his mouth opened gaped into a look of terror “The end is nigh!” he cried out “Bury your bones and pray!”
                “What?” I gasped.
                “The end of the world is upon us!”
                I had a falling sensation just then, I wanted to sit but something prevented me.
                “The end of the world?” I repeated meekly.
                “Yup! I have seen it. The portents are nearly satisfied.”
                “What kind of portents?”
                “Ancient ones.”
                “Yes, but I mean what are they?”
                “From time immemorial they have been known- there are seven signs, and six have already come to pass.
                “But what are these signs you speak of?” I think I trembled a little.
                “The first has come to pass- Lumbridge will see a terrifying plague overtake it’s people, a plague of Noobs. The citizens will be helpless against their spread!”
                I stared dumbly.
                The second evil too has come to pass- men will dress in women’s clothing so as to get free armor!”
                “What?”
                “And not only armor! Swords, and fish, and amulets, and robes from far off lands!”
                “Um, okay.. I guess some do.”
                “The third sign is known to me only through whispers in low voices through the dark parts of the land- for a time, regardless of magic and the laws of nature, some will find a way to walk in the sky! This too has already happened.”
                “Walk in the sky? People have done this?”
                “Sure, check the forums.”
                “Huh?”
                “The fourth sign makes me weak in the knees, but it is too late to stop- an illness of slumber that spares no one- a great exhaustion has descended on the people of the land!”
                “And the next sign?”
                “The fifth sign too has come to pass” Trailborn’s voice took on a grave tremble “The revolution of Rune smithing: what some have even dared to call: the Runite Revolution.”
                “Yes, that has happened..”
                “The sixth sign only serves to show how low the people of the kingdom have descended.”
                “What is the sixth sign?”
                “As was predicted long ago in the second age, and was seen again in the divinations of Scorpius, a madness, in which the people of our kingdom shall value greater than their very lives: their hats.”
                “Errm..”
                “The last sign is not yet upon us! But I feel its coming in the dark hearts of mankind.”
                “Okay, I’ll bite- what is the 7th sign?”
                “The kingdom-” his trembling arm rose his hand to the air as though the very future could be grasped in his trembling hand “-the land will be overrun with toads!”
                “Hey!” I protested “I like toads!”
                “Bah!” Trailborn waved his dismissal.
                “And then the world ends?”
                His eyes narrowed at me.
                “With a clicking and whirring the great engine of the gods will be upon us! The land will plunge into darkness-- and highlight-- and other effects. Men and women will be so changed they will not know their own selves! None shall escape this!”
                “That doesn’t sound like the world actually ending, though.”
                “It’s close enough!” Trailborn snorted.
                “Well, I don’t think I’ll be able to get this published in the Daily.”
                “What! Why not?”
                “Well, you know,” I chose my words carefully, “you’re a complete nutter is why not.”
                Trailborn sounded a prolonged high pitch gasp that must have been laughter.
                “That’s nice talk,” he said, “coming from a Thingummywhat of your size!”
                “Okay, I’d better stop talking to you now.”
                “Cheerio then.” He turned away as though nothing had happened- I agreed with him there and did the same.
                I was talking to myself by the time I got back outside:
                “Well, that explains the twenty-five bones.”
                I walked over to the Rusty Anchor for a tall cool lunch.

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