In the old days before the Wild, when everyday play meant the risk of PKers, Clans served as vital protection-- in today’s modern kingdom, of course, the only serious dangers are from Random NPCs; yet clans continue to flourish and multiply to such an extent that since the April ‘05 update (the one that changed the cows’ appearance, known as the Heifer Update) all RS players numbering over three who spend more than 10 minutes together in the same spot are now REQUIRED to start a clan. Thus the Agility Guild is now officially a clan, and receives a nice tax break from this minor change in status.

As a clan, we like every other clan are looking for a large roster; and by joining the Agility Guild/Clan you can be on the forefront of a one of the future premier clans around. Our concept in running a clan is revolutionary, and is outlined below.

A guild is not just a place you need a certain level to get into: a Guild is by definition a place where those of like interest and skills can socialize, advance their craft, share in knowledge and peership- if that is a word.

With this in mind, the founders of the Agility Guild long ago noted that what those who spend a lot of time leaping walls, climbing ropes, slipping off logs and enjoying Burmese tiger traps needed most were: a place to relax and do nothing.

To this end, they vigorously sought an agreeable air of inaction within their headquarters, and the Guild is chock-a-block with comfy chairs, plush settees, mushy divans; we also offer many feather beds and a ping-pong table (you can sleep on that too, no one ever uses it).

Fally by Night is pleased (as punch) to be the exclusive online go-between for membership in the legendary Agility Guild! Acceptance before now has always been limited to those who could find the Guild, but the empty halls and deserted rooms of our venerable club got so gloomy that we have at long last officially begun recruiting!

A high Agility stat is not necessary to join!

At one time it was a necessity, but some members took exception to other members leaping all over the furniture, climbing the drapes, running down the halls, sliding down the banister.. Etc.. doing handstands on the mantle.. Etc..

To say nothing of bragging about their stat-- ‘my agility’ this, ‘my agility’ that, so on and so forth. They just wouldn't shut up about it!! As a result, strong words were exchanged between some of our members who had drank to much and a motion was made at the following meeting changing this requirement, and reaffirming that that having high Agility was not so important as being allowed to lounge around in peace (The vote was carried 10 to 6 in favor).

For those dissenters however, there is located outside a Trampoline (9 exp) and Seesaw (5 exp), both convenient to the bar; our Gnome bartender is one of the best in the kingdom, in or out of the Grand Tree- and makes a mean Karamja Sling, as well as the traditional Gnome mindbending concoctions. ¹

We have a bi-monthly quarterly bake sale, if the moon is full. There are Goblin Village sack races, the sticky-bun mini game, also an egg race from Varrock to the Lumbridge (no teleporting!).

At various times, there may be debates or public speaking; also speeches made, usually unannounced, and badly attended- at which rotten tomatoes are provided free of charge.

More organized events include the Nyah Nyah Parade, where we dress in all manner of members-only finery and parade around the freeservers. A scavenger hunt is held every other Thursday. Some members do volunteer work with Redrum Frank’s Historic Tours and Holidays, guiding players around classic RS and helping to serve food afterwards.

There are as well regular unscheduled get-togethers for Loitering, Fleeing, Shirking, and Complaining, and of course Mod-Baiting.

One annual event to be counted on is working on our treasurer's tax return- we hope to improve attendance to this festivity next year, and anyone interested in helping organize will receive instant promotion.

Shortly we hope to organize recruitment drives, and those with high Agility can be very helpful there, as they can chase after people for longer without tiring.

I assume you mean ‘noobs’ and that was just a typo.

Newbies are mostly welcome in our clan; the only problems we have had so far with this population is that once they get some lvl under their belt they tend to leave for a different clan, often in groups or bunches, leaving much of the cleaning of the Guild as well as important maintenance of the grass and other facilities in a terrible state. However, we have taken steps of late (see below) to remedy such exodii, and we assure both prospective and current members that none of the lapses in service of the Guild which have occurred before will occur again- things should still be polished, the ping-pong table will stand level, things will open, close, and flush as usual.

Those who aren't even willing to learn how to get ahead in the game but expect advancement (Froobs) are not welcome in this clan-- no offense toward any who may already be within our ranks.

Those who choose to be a noob (Choobs) exercise the right of free will that is the basis of any modern [insert favorite government] and are most welcome. Some of our highest members themselves have no idea what the hell is going on most of the time, and we like them regardless.

Those who spend there time asking for handouts (Begging) without even doing a dance (Busking) are frowned upon, and not just by us! The official clan stand on such people is either their head, or sitting on their back while they whine and ask to be let up.

The clan has an absolute ban on all pking, no exceptions; we consider pking a form of Griefing, and a mistake of judgment in general. We do not allow this behavior within any of out members at all under any circumstances excepting in case of dire temptation, furious fits, foul mood, villainous curiosity, or extreme boredom.

Should a member of our clan be caught PKing, there may be serious consequences, particularly if they are stronger than the person who caught them at it! Such digressers would do well to assert that they are on a Treasure Trail, or were crafting Runes in the Abyss, or something like that.

Saying “what skull?” just doesn’t cut it any more.

While some take a hard line on this issue, we consider autoing a necessary evil.

Pollution and global warming are certainly serious issues, yet sometimes autoing is necessary.

Clan policy² encourages each person to look into alternatives to driving in their area-- such as public transportation, or car pools; and we encourage the use of Bicycles within our ranks, which are good for the legs, back, and humors.

So long as the other clan’s policies do not specifically include slaughtering all those belonging to the Agility Guild, or their name isn’t something like ‘Agility Guild Haters’, then certainly you can! We would actually prefer that you have membership elsewhere, since it takes a lot of the strain of planning and organizing off us.

There are three ways to join the Guild:

Firstly, to apply through Fally by Night, or ingame to an official Guild Officer, Steward, Seargent, Janitor, or myself, Redrum Frank-- I can be anywhere in the kingdoms within two hours! We will review your qualifications and look you over; usually without laughing, no matter who you are.

If you are willing to abide by the rules and spirit of the clan, your acceptance should be swift. If you are very eager to join, however, some doubts as to your character and intelligence may arise-- I recommend restraint, particularly when applying in person.

The second method is to attend a clan event, claiming to already be a member-- more effectively, one of very high rank with important secret duties, which is why no one there recognizes or remembers you. So far, this has been a very successful method of joining for many. To be convincing, you should know some people’s stats and pay attention to names. Two of our top clan directors joined this way; although one swears he was only lost at the time, and it was all a big misunderstanding. We still make him come to meetings though- he's a pushover!

The third method is to be voted in by the clan, without our informing you we've done it. As mentioned in the introduction, this is a new idea in building a clan, and a revolutionary one at that! We think it’s a winner, and it’s the most popular method for the recruitment officers- a tremendous time saver, and there’s really nothing anyone can do about it- especially since all members are forbidden by the rules of the game to say where their website is.

By this third method the Agilty Guild plan to add to their ranks some of the top players, without ever having to interrupt their skills and training with distracting events, votes, endless meetings, or even informing them they are now a member of our clan. Currently we are working on adding some of the oldest players to our roster, particularly the ones instrumental in the Runite Revolution, as well as high level players that quit months ago. By this method we confidently expect by next year to be one of the top clans ever in RS on Earth. Or any planet with RS players!

Further, as there is a small processing fee involved in removing a players name from our membership list, the Guild by following this plan has raised over 5 million gp already!

A low level member who has been unknowingly recruited can expect to pay just a few gp to be released, but wealthy members should consider carefully the benefits of belonging to our Guild, as the price of getting out of it can be exorbitant. The processing fees to strike a high level player from our roster is at least a few hundred thousand.

Though, nothing can heal the emotional pain of such a loss to our clan!

While we are a small group, we excel far past every other Guild or clan, big or small, when it comes to rank. Every member is assured excellent rank and breathtaking standing within our clan!

We currently have 40 levels of rank for a mere handful of members†, so the delegation of power is really going quick! But not to worry, we're inventing more titles each day! New rank is added as needed- it is important to keep balance within our numbers, but ease of spelling is certainly the most important consideration.

Rank is of course rewarded by level of activity- for example, one of our newest members joined at the modest level of Junior Ixnay, but he spent so much time posting about the Guild, sending pm’s, recruiting people, and generally hanging around all the time that we promoted him to Admiral, on his promise that he stopped doing all that stuff and go away for a while.

On the other hand, one newcomer holding the rank of Cabbage left us shortly after joining, and while he had never done anything for the Agility Guild, he was much liked; and one night some people got to reminiscing, talking about the fellow, and toasting his name, and whammo! he was rewarded the order of the Purple Sage- one of the highest levels in our clan.

Rumor has it for the past months he’s been killing Bronze Dragons on Karamja, but no one really knows.

For those who would like to officially tender their support but cannot actually join, we have two honorary ranks: that of ClanFriend, and of Clan Friend. They're pretty much the same title, but the second has a space in it.

You may also apply to be a ‘secret member,’ if you value your anonymity in extreme. In that case you should apply by the first of the methods described above, contacting someone ingame; and if you see an Agility Guild recruitment drive in progress, you might want to teleport away or log off quickly so as not to be publicly shanghaied.

There are already many RS celebs who hold honorary titles in our group-- and many, many more who wish they were RS celebs.

view our rank, roster, and pricing page

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